


Let Me Love You

by ash_mcj



Series: Marvel Songfics [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Depressed Wade Wilson, Heroes, M/M, Self-Harm, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-08 12:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21476272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ash_mcj/pseuds/ash_mcj
Summary: Peter Parker wanted to be a hero, so he made his suit and took to the streets, earning his place as Spider-Man. He wanted to be an Avenger, so he tried hard and proved himself to the one and only Tony Stark, earning his place as an Avenger. He never had any problem achieving what he wanted, when he put his mind to it...except with Deadpool. No matter how much Peter tried to push that schizophrenic mercenary away, he couldn't do it. Deadpool was there waiting to patrol with him every single night.Peter couldn't for the life of him, figure out how to make Deadpool leave him alone. Maybe it was because he didn't really want him to.(SPIDEYPOOL FLUFF and some angst)**Songfic inspired by Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself) by Ne-Yo
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Spider-Man/Deadpool, Spideypool
Series: Marvel Songfics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1530254
Comments: 12
Kudos: 189





	Let Me Love You

**Author's Note:**

> This will skip around quite a bit...it's literally just a bunch of little scenes. Each scene will be separated with this: "***". If there is a very small time skip within the same scene, it will be written as this: "---". Song lyrics are bolded.

** _Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel_ **

** _Had no example of a love that was even remotely real_ **

** _How can you understand something that you never had?_ **

** _Ooh baby if you let me, I can help you out with all of that_ **

Peter stood in his Spider-Man suit, looking out his bedroom window. He finally made it. He was an _ Avenger _.

It was crazy to think that he woke up that morning in his bed at Aunt May’s house, and now he was here, in his brand new room. Just down the hall, there were heroes like Captain America and Mr. Stark--and he was one of them now!

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., I’m going to shut the window, but I’ll come back through it later tonight...could you please keep it unlocked for me?” He asked, looking up at the ceiling.

_ “Of course, Spider-Man.” _ the female-sounding AI responded.

That was all the encouragement Peter needed to slide the window open and leap out, shooting his web onto a nearby tree and pulling himself down towards the street, where he landed gracefully.

“Hiya, Spidey!” a man’s voice said, walking over to him happily. He had a black and red leather suit with several straps and holsters on his thighs and chest, holding guns, knives, and two katanas on his back. “I’m not going to lie, you probably have the best ass out of the Avengers, but it might just be the spandex. I’d have to get a closer look.”

“Uh, who are you?” Peter asked, confusedly.

“Deadpool, but you can call me Wade. That’s what the pretty people get to call me.” he answered. “I know they don’t, but I was trying--hey, you know what? I didn’t ask for--are you sure we’re scaring him?”

Peter stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say in this situation. He was fairly certain Wade was talking to himself, which meant that he was probably crazy. Also, Peter definitely recognized that name…

“Deadpool? You’re a mercenary, right?” Peter realized.

“Oh my, Gods...you _ know _me? Wow, this might be the best day of my life!” he exclaimed. 

“Okay, well I’m going to go on my patrol now, so...I’ll see you around. Don’t kill anyone, please.”

“Wait, I’m going to come with you!” Deadpool declared. “You took my suit design, so you owe me at least one patrol.”

“What? I didn’t take your suit design!”

“Yours looks exactly like mine, with different colors and a bit of spider-web.”

“Maybe you copied me.”

“I’ve been Deadpool longer than I bet you’ve been alive. What are you, twenty? Twenty-one?”

Peter couldn’t help but wonder how old this dude was? He didn’t sound or move like he was old... He had major pep-in-his-step going on, complete with swaying arms.

“Fine, I guess it’s a free country.” Peter sighed, deciding that it wasn’t worth fighting. If Deadpool wanted to play hero for the night, maybe it would do some good. Steering a mercenary towards hero work is always a good thing, right? “No hitting on me, though...I’m not gay.”

“How can I _ not _comment on that ass, though? Seriously, if you were standing where I am right now--” Deadpool stopped, sensing Peter’s annoyance. “Okay, I’ll be good.”

“Fantastic.” Peter said, starting their walk towards the main part of the city. It was only about fifteen minutes away by foot. Usually, he would swing over there, but he had a tag-along tonight.

“I’m not gay, either, you know. I just don’t think that what someone has in their pants has anything to do with how good of a partner they will be. I’m Pansexual.”

“Congratulations.” Peter rolled his eyes. He loved his mask sometimes--he didn’t have to worry much about offending people with his facial mannerisms. “Let’s get this over with.”

***

From that day forward, Deadpool managed to talk his way into getting to go on Spider-Man’s patrols with him every night, until Peter just stopped fighting it. It had been three weeks, and Peter had deduced from this time that Deadpool had severe schizophrenia and could not physically prevent himself from talking. Peter was always told that _ he _talked too much--but Deadpool was a whole different story. That man had endless energy and no filter.

“I got something for you, Spidey.” Deadpool announced, holding something behind his back. Peter was nervous at first if it was something dangerous, like a bomb,--which wouldn’t surprise him in the slightest--but his spider-sense wasn’t going off. Whatever it was probably wasn’t going to blow up the block.

“What is it, Deadpool?” he asked him.

“Close your eyes, Silly! Haven’t you ever received a present before?”

Peter couldn’t help but smile at his childish antics. If Deadpool was good for anything, it was a laugh. He shut his eyes and held out his hands expectantly. “They’re closed.”

“Promise? I’m going to have to trust you, because of your mask.”

“I promise.”

Peter felt something light be placed in his hands and opened his eyes to see a _ very _dirty teddy bear. It was maybe a light brown color at some point--judging by the few clean-ish spots--but most of it was caked with dirt and...pieces of a food rapper?

“Deadpool...did you find this in the dumpster?”

Wade shifted on his feet awkwardly and asked, “Why do you think that?”

“It is covered in...nasty...and it smells horrible.”

“Yeah, I found him in the dumpster down the street.” Deadpool admitted. “I was walking by and it was right on top. He was so cute! I thought of you when I saw him, because y’know...you’re cute, too.”

“Uh...thank you.” Peter said, unsure of how else to respond. “I really do appreciate it, but...I think we should put it back in the dumpster. I’m sure a raccoon or something would love it.”

“Oh, okay.” Deadpool said, disappointed. “Yeah, it was stupid. Trash isn’t very romantic, I guess.”

“Not usually. Maybe go to the store for presents, when you’re trying to hit on someone. Not me, though. I’m still not gay.”

“Did you make a note of that, White Box? Gotta go to the store. Trash is a no-go.” Deadpool said to himself.

“Let’s go drop this back at the dumpster on the way towards the city. You hold it--the smell is getting all over my gloves.” Peter said, throwing the bear at the mercenary, who caught it. He held it against his chest like a baby as they walked and Peter thought that was odd. Who knew insane murderers had parental instincts?

The rest of the night was pretty quiet. They stopped a guy from stealing a woman’s purse. Broke up a couple altercations between guys outside the local bar. Nothing too heroic. Peter almost regretted going out that night. He would have been saved the hassle of having to clean his gloves when he got home. Peter crawled back in through his window, leaving Deadpool to walk back towards the city again to his apartment. Peter wasn’t sure why he always insisted on walking him all the way back home, when his apartment was in the area they patrolled, fifteen minutes away.

\---

When Peter woke up the next morning and walked out of his room into the living room, the Avengers were all surrounding something on the table, talking. 

“Hey, Kid, c’mere.” Tony beckoned him over. “Do you know someone named Wade Wilson?”

The blood drained from Peter’s face as he all but ran to the table. Sitting there in the center was a small, fuzzy white teddy bear with a red bow around his neck and sparkly blue eyes. There was a note sitting beside it, reading _ ‘To my baby boy. I went to the store this time, I promise! Love, Wade Wilson’ _

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Peter groaned.

“You got a boyfriend we don’t know about?” Bruce asked, laughing.

“No! He’s not...I’m not...We are _ not _together. I’m not gay. He’s just this guy that has been following me around on my patrols at night. He thinks we’re friends.”

“Peter, don’t stress,” Clint patted his shoulder. “As long as you say ‘no homo’, you’re good.”

“Don’t be embarrassed.” Steve told him. “We aren’t judging you.”

“Where did you find this?”

“It was outside on the porch this morning. Mr.Wilson must’ve put it there last night after your patrol.” Steve answered.

“Why don’t you take the bear to your room and get ready for training.” Tony told him. “We are going to meet in Training Room One in twenty minutes.”

“Alright, Mr. Stark.”

“Kid, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Tony?”

“Right. Sorry, Mr.--Tony.”

Peter snatched the bear and the note off of the table and retreated back into his room, completely embarrassed. Now the Avengers thought he had a secret boyfriend dropping off presents for him. Perfect.

***

Peter was doing homework. Usually at ten o’clock, he was out patrolling, but he was completely swamped with school stuff tonight. He hated college. He was starting to nod off into his chemistry textbook, when he heard a sharp _ ‘tat’ _ on his window. The Avengers living areas were on the second floor, so he wasn’t sure how something was hitting his window. Maybe it was a bird?

He turned back towards his book, when he heard it again.

_ ‘Tat...tat….tat-tat!’ _

Peter grabbed his mask from the desk and pulled it over his head, before walking over to his window. The noise was being caused by pebbles, hitting the glass.

Pebbles thrown by Deadpool.

Peter slid open the window and leaned out of it. “Deadpool, what are you doing?”

“You didn’t meet me out at the street...I was worried!” he whisper-yelled.

“I got busy...school is kinda burying me alive right now.” Peter explained. “I don’t think I’m going to patrol tonight.”

“Oh...well, I brought mexican food. Do you want to take a break and come down to eat it with me? Lots of chimichangas and tacos!”

“Did you get those out of the dumpster, too?” Peter joked.

“Ha-ha, very funny. Who would even throw away perfectly good mexican food in the first place? It was from my favorite restaurant by my apartment.” Wade said. “It’s freezing out here tonight. Do you have a blanket or something?”

“Yeah, give me a sec.” 

“Okay, I’ll be right here.”

Peter went to his closet, about to grab an extra blanket, when he thought of something. 

“Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y.? Would it be okay for Deadpool to come up here? Just in my room.”

_ “I am not supposed to allow any outsiders in without Mr. Stark’s approval. Would you like me to ask him?” _

“No! It’s just really cold outside and I don’t really want to get all bundled up just to go out and eat for a little while. It will only be like an hour tops. Please? He can leave all of his weapons outside. He would just be in my room with me. I don’t want Mr. Stark to know.”

_ “Alright, but if I sense a threat, I will be alerting Mr. Stark immediately.” _

Peter thanked her and then ran back to the window. “Wade, take off all your weapons and set them down on the ground. You can come up here for like an hour, so we can eat without freezing to death.”

“Okay! I’ve always wanted to be in your room!” Deadpool replied excitedly. He quickly stripped off all of his guns, knives, swords, and...was that a grenade? After tossing them all on the ground haphazardly, he asked, “How do I get up there?”

Peter strapped one of his web-shooters to his wrist and shot two strands at Wade’s shoulders, pulling him up to the window. He helped maneuver Wade through the narrow frame, before they both fell on the carpet.

“You are a _ lot _bigger than I am. It’s a lot easier to fit through that window for me.” Peter said, out of breath.

“I bring you food and you call me fat?”

“No, not fat. You’re just..._ big _. Like, tall and really muscle-y.” Peter explained.

“I think that’s the nicest thing someone has ever said to me.”

“Shut up.” Peter laughed.

“You know, I have never seen you out of your Spandex.” Wade said, looking him up and down. “I disapprove of your shirt. Wolverine is a dick.”

“I’ve had it forever...I just use it as a pajama shirt.”

“He’s killed me at least twenty-seven times over the years. It’s going to be just him and I in the future, you know. I can’t age, and neither can he, really. We are going to outlive everyone. Luckily, I stopped aging when I was twenty-three, and he stopped when he was already old and hairy. Then again, he is still a lot hotter than me. My face looks like a rotten ballsack.” 

“You can’t age?” Peter asked, taking the bag of food and pulling out a chimichanga.

“Nope. Can’t age, can’t die. I’ve tried everything, and I just heal within a few hours, at the most. Curse of having a healing factor.”

“What do you mean you’ve tried? To kill yourself?”

“This isn’t happy talk. I don’t like this conversation. New convo time!” Wade said quickly. “Do you play video games?”

“Um...yeah, I do.” Peter answered. He was still hung up on the other conversation, but he wasn’t going to force someone to talk about their mental illness. He would probably find out later, since they hang out every night. “I’ve been playing a lot of _ Left 4 Dead _ lately.”

“Oh, I love that game! Zombies are awesome. We should play sometime. I have the game, too, so we can play multiplayer!”

“Okay, I’m down.”

“Where’s your phone? I’ll put my number in, so we can figure out a good time.”

Peter handed him his cell phone and Wade made himself a contact, peace sign selfie and all.

***

“Hey, Wade,” Peter greeted his friend, as he jumped down from his window onto the grass, where he was waiting for him.

“Hiya, Baby Boy.”

“Why do you always call me that?” Peter asked, as they walked together towards the street. “You remember we aren’t dating, right?”

“Of course I remember. I would never have a chance with someone like you--I’ve already accepted that. I’m not stupid, contrary to what many may think.”

“Someone like me? You mean someone straight?”

“Even if you don’t know this yet...you are not straight. You may not be willing to go gay for me, but you will for someone. My gaydar has never been wrong, and I’ve been around for over fifty years. You’re definitely bisexual. No question about it.”

“Okay, well that’s incorrect. But that aside, what do you mean by someone like me?”

“Spidey, you are...perfect. Your skin is smooth and beautiful. Your voice is so calming and safe. You have one of the best hearts I’ve ever seen from anyone--hero or civilian. Most people run away the second my schizophrenia shows its stupid head, but you still hang out with me each night. Even when I annoy the fuck outta you, you’ve never told me to just get lost. You’re a great person. You are the complete opposite of me--inside and out.”

“I don’t think you’re a bad person, Wade.” Peter told him honestly. “I think whoever you’ve given dumpster teddies to in the past were shitty people. You should never listen to people who just want to knock you down.”

“Yeah, but...I don’t really judge them for it. I’d leave, too. Especially after seeing my ugly mug.”

“You talk about your face a lot...what do you look like? I doubt it’s as bad as you think.”

“With every fiber of my body, I hope you never find out the answer to that question. I’m not delusional...I mean, I am, but not with you. I know you aren’t going to date me. I know I’m not going to get laid. It’s not about that, though. I like your company...just being able to hang out with you is more than I deserve. More than I thought I would get. So...don’t bother asking about my face, because every person who’s seen it has ran, and I don’t want you to run.”

“I wouldn’t run, Wade.”

“Even a heart of gold can only stretch so far, Baby Boy.”

“Okay,” Peter gave in, knowing Wade wasn’t going to show him that night. “Let’s go stop some baddies.”

** _Boy, let me love you_ **

** _And I will love you_ **

** _Until you learn to love yourself_ **

“I’m not a child!” Peter shouted, kicking a dented garbage can against a chain-link fence. He and Wade were spending the night in an alley on the outskirts of the city, while Peter vented. “Just because I don’t understand all their references from their dumb old people movies, doesn’t mean they can just treat me like im some stupid preteen running around in a costume!”

“How old _ are _you? I never asked. Please tell me I haven’t been flirting with a minor? I don’t need that on my conscience.”

“I’m eighteen.”

“Thank God--I knew that bubble butt was legal.”

“I don’t understand why my age even matters to them! How does it make me any less of an Avenger, just because I haven’t been alive as long? How is that my fault?”

“It’s not.”

Peter kicked the trash can one more time, before sitting down beside Wade. There were cigarettes and needles scattered all across the ground, but it wasn’t surprising. What good guys typically hang out in dark alleys?

“They always act like I’m not ready for anything and talk to me like I’m stupid.”

“You’re smarter than most of the people on that team.” Deadpool told him. “I wish I had a brain like yours. I bet a lot of people would love your brain. The thing with the Avengers, though, is if you aren’t making a big, _ public _ impact, they don’t take you seriously. You fight for the little guys--it’s a miracle the Avengers even took you in. Nobody gets praise for helping the little guys.”

“Yeah. It shouldn’t be like that. That’s mainly why I was hesitant to join, but I figured I would be able to help more people this way.”

“You will, Baby Boy. Before you know it, you’ll be one of the best Avengers--hell, you may even lead them one day. You’ve got more potential in your pinky finger than they have all together. They’ve just got to realize it.”

“I think you’re biased.” Peter chuckled, feeling a little better. Letting off steam and talking to Wade was making his anger dissipate pretty fast.

“Maybe, but I’m still right.” Wade shrugged. “Hey, when’s your birthday?”

“August 27th”

“First of all, I definitely met you before you were eighteen, so thank you for not calling the police on me. Secondly, that’s so farrrr. We’re going to have to wait so long to celebrate.” Wade frowned. “Mine is December 11th.”

“Cool.” Peter nodded.

“I know he didn’t ask, but it seemed--well, what’s wrong with telling him? We’re friends. Friends know each other’s--that’s rude.” Wade argued with himself. Peter wasn’t sure what the voices in his head were saying, but Wade visibly flinched and looked deflated.

“Hey, Wade?” Peter got his attention, putting his hand on the mercenary’s knee comfortingly. “I’m glad you told me. What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t know each other’s birthdays?”

Wade brightened up and said, “I told you so!”, which was obviously directed at one of his voices. Peter smiled, knowing Wade had won the imaginary argument. He had a feeling the voices in his partner’s head weren’t very nice to him most of the time, and it honestly hurt Peter. 

“We should do something for your birthday. It’s in--what--a week?” Peter said.

“Actuallyyy.” Wade sang, reaching down the side of his pants leg. Peter didn’t even know his suit was two pieces. He pulled out a slightly crumbled, possibly damp, card. “I have been carrying this around for like two weeks now, trying to figure out when the best time to give it to you would be. Sorry it’s a little gross...I don’t have any pockets.”

Peter took the card from him and read it, smiling.

_ You’re Invited To Wade Wilson’s Sleepover Birthday Party! _

_ There will be pizza and cake at night, and Wade’s award-winning pancakes in the morning! _

_ Come at 8:00PM on December 11th and leave whenever. No presents necessary. See you there! _

“Sleepover, huh?” Peter asked. He hadn’t been invited to a sleepover since he was maybe five or six. Something about Wade’s childish antics were almost comforting, though...a nice break from all the seriousness that came with being a hero. “So...I should bring pajamas and microwave popcorn?” Peter asked. Wade was literally vibrating with excitement.

“You’ll come?!” Wade jumped up and did some sort of little shuffle dance. “I totally thought you were going to tell me that you had better things to do.”

“Wade, I have spent every single night with you for the last six months. Not because I have to, but because I genuinely enjoy your company. Therefore, coming to your birthday party is not something I would pass up.”

Wade froze and Peter wondered if he had said something wrong. He didn’t say anything mean, right?

“Nobody’s ever said that to me...that they enjoyed my company.” he explained to Peter, sensing that the younger man was concerned. “It threw me off for a second.”

“Well...now I have.” Peter told him, secretly wanting to punch everyone that had rejected Wade in the face. He didn’t deserve that. “And I mean it. I’m sorry I wasn’t the nicest to you in the beginning...I’m really glad I met you.”

“Aw, shush, Spidey. You’re gonna make me cry.” Wade laughed, but his voice was just strained enough that Peter could tell he was serious. “I’m really glad I met you, too.”

***

Peter walked up to the door of the apartment in his pajamas--_ not _the Wolverine ones--and his Spider-Man mask. He was pretty sure he was getting hypothermia from the walk over there. After double checking the address that Wade sent him, he opened the door, finding it unlocked. Wade was sitting on the couch, under a mountain of blankets and pillows. 

“Baby Boy! You made it!”

“Of course. You leave your door unlocked? That’s not safe.”

“I don’t have anything anyone would want to steal, and if they broke in while I was home, I mean...that’s their problem.” Wade shrugged. “Come join me in the fortress of warmth!”

Peter shut and locked the door behind him, then all but ran to the couch. He buried himself in the blankets with Wade, enjoying the smell that overloaded his enhanced senses. It smelled like sweat, leather, and gunpowder--just like Wade. That smell had become one of Peter’s favorite scents over their time together. 

“I got you something.” Peter told him, taking a long box out of the pocket of his pajama pants and handing it to him. 

“I told you presents weren't necessary.” Wade said, surprised. “You really didn’t have to. Showing up was enough of a present.”

“Shut up and open it, Wade!” Peter urged. 

Wade opened the box and took out the sunglasses. They looked like simple black sunglasses with slightly rectangular frames--ones you could buy literally anywhere--but Wade looked ecstatic.

“I love them, Spidey! I will wear them every day around the house.”

“They are sunglasses--you’ve gotta wear them _ outside _ the house. Y’know, in the _ sun _.”

“Ah, Baby Boy, that’s very nice...but I don’t leave my house without my mask. I rarely even take my mask off in my own apartment”

“Well, with these glasses, you might not have that issue as much. I’ve been working on them all week. If they work properly, they should project an undetectable hologram across your face that will make others see you the way you want them to see you. Just put the glasses on and then tell them what you want to be changed on your face. You can tweak the hologram as much as you’d like.”

“You made these for me?”

“Well, yeah. You talk about hating your face so often...I want you to be comfortable.”

“I will play with these tomorrow after you leave. Thank you.” Wade told him, his hand getting close to Peter’s under the blanket. Peter could feel the warmth of Wade’s fingers by his own, and blushed under his mask.

“So, what are we watching?”

“Lord of the Rings?” Wade asked, selecting the movie from the list on his television when Peter nodded.

Peter wasn’t sure when, but as the movie went on, he started leaning towards Wade. The closer he got, the more he found himself getting lost in Wade’s intoxicating smell. It made him feel safe and warm inside, like he was at home. He nearly jumped when his head accidentally slid onto the older man’s muscular shoulder. He figured the best thing to do in that moment was to pretend to be asleep. He couldn’t just explain that he was trying to smell him and got distracted, right?

Then again, he couldn’t think of a better place to fall asleep.

** _Boy, let me love you_ **

** _And all your trouble_ **

** _Don't be afraid, boy let me help_ **

** _Boy, let me love you_ **

** _And I will love you_ **

** _Until you learn to love yourself_ **

Peter was walking towards the Compound after he got out of his class, when he heard a large explosion down the street. He ducked into an alley to quickly throw on his mask and drop his backpack, before sprinting down the street towards where all the smoke and fire was. He was almost there, when Iron Man stopped him.

“Don’t worry about this one, kid. Just a dispute between some bad guys, who are long gone. Clean up crew is on the way already.” Tony told him. “See you back at the Compound.”

Peter sighed and turned around, regretting the sprint he made there. Now he had to go all the way back to where he left his backpack. He was walking for no more than two minutes, before hearing a woman scream. He ran over to her and she pointed into an alley, before picking her toddler up and hurrying down the street with her.

Peter walked into the alley and saw a familiar figure, mumbling unintelligible things to himself. His back was turned, but Peter could easily still tell who it was.

“Deadpool?” he called. “Are you alright?”

“That’s not a question that has an easy answer, Spider-Man.” he answered through gritted teeth. His voice was hard and cold--nothing like his usual playful self. “Maybe I would be alright if my meds worked...if I didn’t have this stupid healing factor...if I didn’t have this horrifying _ face _ ...if these stupid fucking _ voices _ in my head would SHUT UP ALREADY! But yes, I guess I’m alright--as alright as I’ll ever be.”

Peter got closer to him and noticed that he was playing with a pistol, lightly tapping the barrel against his temple.

“What happened, Wade?” Peter whispered, fear bubbling in his chest at the sight of the gun so dangerously close to Wade.

“Slayback showed up and threw a grenade at me...burned off my mask. When I was sprinting my ass over to this alley, I passed a woman. Her daughter started crying when she saw me, and when the woman looked, she screamed. That’s what my face does, kid! That’s why I wear a mask all the time! That’s why every mirror in my apartment is painted black. I’m a monster.”

“No, Wade...that’s just your voices talking. You are _ not _a monster.” Peter assured him.

“Is this not the face of a monster?!” Wade shouted, turning around and showing his face to Peter for the first time. There were severe scars covering every inch of his skin, making him almost resemble a burn victim, without the distorted facial structure. His features were still very...well, handsome. He had a chiseled, sharp jaw and a strong brow bone that framed his blue eyes nicely. His lips were slightly plump and perfectly shaped, and his teeth were remarkably straight. He also had a very nice nose--not quite swoopy, but definitely not large or curved. The sight was a bit shocking at first, but it wasn’t too hard to be able to see past the skin and notice that his bone structure was very attractive. “You’re scared, aren’t you? Everyone always is.”

“I am scared, Wade, but not because of your face. I’m scared of losing you. That’s the face of someone I care about...my best friend...and you’re holding a gun to your head.”

“Oh, please, it’s not like I’ll die. I can’t die! Isn’t that fucked up? Cursed to live forever with these stupid voices constantly telling me to off myself. If they could just shut up for a _ moment. _ Just a _ second _, so that I could think straight…”

“Wade, put the gun down.” Peter said, stepping towards him to be able to take the gun from him, if needed. “It’s not about whether or not you’ll die--I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I wouldn’t come close to me right now, Spider-Man...I’m not stable. You need to get out of here, before I do something bad.”

“I’m not leaving you here.” Peter insisted, continuing forward slowly.

“Stop being a fucking hero for a second and make the smart decision to save your ass.” Wade said, pointing the gun at Peter. “Unless you want to be _ really _romantic...murder-suicides have always really pulled at my heart strings.”

“You won’t hurt me.” Peter told him, taking the last few steps to close the distance between himself and the gun. He pressed his chest against the barrel, just to get his point across. “I know you. You’re stronger than the voices in your head. You won’t hurt me, Wade.”

“Why do you have so much faith in me? Nobody has ever been this stupid.”

“I trust you.” Peter said honestly. 

Wade stared at him for a moment, before spinning the gun with a swift movement so that Peter could take it by the grip. The smaller man grabbed the gun and tossed it onto the ground behind him, smiling.

“You aren’t running, now that you’ve seen my face?” Wade asked him.

“No way.” Peter assured him. “There’s no one else I’d rather spend my nights with.”

“I don’t deserve you...I mean, I know we aren’t dating or anything, but...even as a friend...you’re too good for me.”

“Wade, I don’t know what all you’ve been through, but you deserve to be loved. You’re honestly the most important person in my life and I wish I met you sooner.”

“No...I would have been arrested for pedophillia. You were jailbait, even when I did meet you.”

“I guess you’re right.” Peter laughed. He reached out and took Wade’s hand, which was shaking. He pulled him over to the wall and they sat down. “This might be a little too personal...you don’t have to answer...but have you always had these voices?”

“My mother died when I was really young. I don’t even remember her. My drunk Pops, though...he blamed me for it. I had a violent upbringing...I wasn’t really taught compassion and goodness and stuff. I was raised to be an asshole, so no one was really surprised when I went down a shady path as an adult. When I turned eighteen, I joined a mercenary group and started making good money. I would kill anyone, as long as they were not animals or children. Even I’m not _ that _heartless. Believe it or not, I was pretty hot. I was able to make my targets trust me very quickly, so that I could get the information I needed, before killing them.”

“So...you didn’t have schizophrenia then?”

“Not until I was twenty-three and found out I had stage 4 cancer. I was desperate to try anything to stay alive...I had much more self-love back then. I met a company called Weapon X, who told me they could save me. The idea was to do a bunch of tests and experiments to turn into a superhuman, which would cure my cancer. I won’t go into specifics, but turns out the experiments were extreme torture with frequent doses of Wolverine’s DNA in hopes of the healing factor grasping onto my DNA. It worked eventually...but my skin was left forever scarred and my mind broke by the end of it all. Walked into Weapon X a sexy, dying mercenary. Left an ungly, immortal, human-mutate with schizophrenia and bipolar. Yay me.”

“I don’t think you’re ugly, Wade.” Peter told him. 

“You don’t have to lie to me--I know how bad it is.”

“I’m not lying. Sure, the scars are kinda shocking at first, but I can see through them. You have a much more chiseled face than me...strong jawline, sharp cheekbones, nice nose. Nice eyes.”

“I wish I could see yours. I think it’s unfair that you’ve seen mine. What color are yours?”

“Hazel.” Peter answered. “Sometimes they are kinda green in the right lighting, but they are usually a good mix of green and brown.”

“I know you’re all about keeping your identity secret, but...do you think I’ll ever get to see them?”

Peter looked at the man beside him and traced his knuckles with his fingertips, thinking.

“Yeah, I do.” Peter told him. He knew at some point, he would take his mask off in front of Wade. “Just not today.”

“Thank you. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“I know you won’t. I trust you.” 

“It’s getting late and I need to meet my maintenance guy at my house to fix my stupid toilet...too much Mexican food. I’ll see you on the patrol tonight?”

“Pick me up at ten.” Peter told him, standing up.

“Can I call it a date?” Wade asked him playfully.

“Only if you plan on buying me food after.” Peter answered, taking Wade’s hand and pulling him up to a standing position.

“It’s a date, then.”

** _Boy, let me love you_ **

** _A heart of numbness, gets brought to life_ **

** _I'll take you there_ **

_ “Spider-Man, I hate to wake you, but I wanted to alert you that Deadpool is trying to climb the side of the building towards your window. Should I unlock the window, or would you like me to trigger the defense systems to shoot him down?” _F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked, causing Peter to sit up quickly and reach for his Spider-Man mask on his nightstand. 

“Do _ not _trigger the defense systems! Unlock the window, please.” Peter told her groggily. What time was it? 

Peter walked over to the window and opened it, pulling the struggling mercenary through into his room.

“Happy birthday, Baby Boy!” Wade said, handing him a bag. “The big 1-9...how exciting!”

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to come over at..._six_ in the morning.” Peter told him, looking over at the digital clock on his wall. 

“I couldn’t wait any longer. I’ve been waiting all night! Open, open, open!” Wade urged him, pointing at the bag.

Peter reached into the bag and pulled out a card. Well, a piece of lined paper with the words _ ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SPIDEY!’ _ and a picture Wade drew of a unicorn eating cake. He looked into the bag and pulled the present out, sitting on his bed to unwrap it. Wade sat beside him.

“Wow,” Peter smiled, unwrapping the watch. It was a sleek black watch with a picture of him and Wade on the face of it. “This is so sick--I’ve always wanted a watch like this.”

“Really? I got one, too!” Wade said, showing him his wrist. Sure enough, he had a matching one. “It’s like friendship watches.”

“I love it, Wade. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Baby Boy. Now you won’t be late for patrols.”

“Okay, just because you get to the street before me doesn’t mean I’m late!” Peter laughed, pushing him playfully.

“I’m pretty sure it does.” Wade insisted. “I’m always out there waiting until I come and get you from your window like a fucking princess.”

Peter punched his chest lightly and Wade poked his side, eliciting a squirm and a high-pitched noise from the younger man.

“No...Wade…” Peter said, putting his hands up defensively as he saw Deadpool reposition himself.

“You never told me you were ticklish!” Wade accused him, lunging towards him and grabbing at his sides.

“No--WADE--hahaha--STOP IT--hahahaha!” Peter laughed, writhing around in the bed. Wade was on top of him, pinning him down and poking his ribs mercilessly. Finally, Peter used his super strength to grab Wade’s hands and flip them over. Peter straddled his waist and pinned his hands above his head, breathing deeply.

“Stronger than you look--I’ll give you that much.” Wade said. “But, uh...you should probably not sit on my lap right now, because I’m definitely getting hard.”

Peter felt himself flush under his mask and slid off of him, laying beside him in the bed. Knowing that he turned Wade on was stirring something in his own pajama pants, so he quickly got under the blankets to hide it.

“A-Are you doing anything today?” Peter asked.

“No. Did you have anything in mind to fill my day up?”

“Well...I am still pretty tired. I would like another hour or two to sleep.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry I woke you up so early. I’ll just meet up with you later today--”

“No!” Peter stopped him, pulling him closer as he tried to get up. “I-I mean...you don’t have to leave, if you don’t want to. It’s a pretty big bed for one person.”

“Alright.” Wade said, reaching for the hem of his mask. “Do you mind if I pull my mask up over my nose and mouth, though? I can’t breathe all that well under here.”

“Go ahead.” Peter encouraged, happy that he felt comfortable enough to show some of his face to him. “I actually will, too. Masks aren’t the easiest to breathe in.”

Peter pulled his mask up a bit, revealing his nose and pink, slightly-parted lips to Wade for the first time.

“You, uh...you have nice lips.” Wade told him, reaching for them without thinking. He traced Peter’s bottom lip with his thumb, pulling it slightly down to see his perfectly white teeth. “They look really...soft.”

Peter didn’t say anything, afraid of snapping Wade out of his trance and scaring him away. Maybe it was just because he hadn’t slept with anyone in a while, but there was a _ strong _ sexual tension in the air around them, and he wanted nothing more than to just leap forward and kiss Wade. That could be bad though--what if Wade wasn’t ready? Wade flirted a bunch, but he never distinctly said that Peter could kiss him. He wasn’t sure of the limitations on touching his face--he hadn’t even been able to _ see _it for very long. He didn’t want to scare him away.

“Happy--uh” Tony’s voice said from the doorway, causing Wade and Peter to jump apart. Wade pulled his mask down over the bottom half of his face and froze, unsure of what to do. Peter felt upset at the loss of Wade’s finger on his lips.

“Hi.” Peter said to his team, who all looked very confused. “So...this is Wade.”

“Deadpool is the Teddy Bear guy?” Clint asked, obviously shocked.

“I...should go. I’ll see you later, Spidey.” Deadpool said, before quickly jumping out of the open window. Peter briefly felt concern for his two-story fall, but knew he would heal.

“You’ve been seeing a mercenary?” Tony asked him. “You know who that is, right?”

“I’m not really seeing him...he’s my friend.” Peter tried, but he knew nobody believed him. He didn’t even believe himself. “He’s not a bad guy. He hasn’t done any killing in over a year--that was the rule we made when we became friends.”

“He’s still killed _ a lot _of people, Kid. You shouldn’t be hanging out with him. He’s dangerous.”

“Yeah, well, how many deaths have you guys caused? Before _ and _during the Avengers? Everyone should have a chance to redeem themselves.” Peter reasoned.

“You’re right.” Natasha told Peter, touching Tony’s shoulder to silently tell him to back off. “If Clint hadn’t given me a second chance, I wouldn’t be here.”

“If he hurts you, you let me know. I’ll take care of him.” Tony told Peter, making him smile.

“I don’t think it will be an issue, but I will keep you updated.”

“Good. Now, eat your pancakes.” Tony said, handing him the plate.

** _Boy, let me love you_ **

** _I can see the pain behind your eyes_ **

** _It's been there for quite a while_ **

When Peter went out to patrol that night, he immediately had a bad feeling. Wade wasn’t there waiting for him by his window or out on the street, like he always was. He had never missed a patrol before, since Peter moved to the Avengers Compound nearly a year ago. He decided to wait for a few minutes, but Wade was nowhere to be seen. Something was definitely wrong. He didn’t even text Peter to tell him he was sick or something.

He debated just going on his patrol like usual and waiting to find Wade until after, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to focus. His spider-sense was going off very subtly, telling him that something was very wrong. He raced back to his bedroom window and grabbed his phone off the desk, calling Wade. It completely rang out, until Peter got his answering machine.

_ “This is Deadpool, leave a message and I might call you back if I remember.” _

“Wade, it’s Spider-Man...you aren’t here for patrol. Are you okay? I-I’m...I’m worried about you. Call me.” Peter spoke into the phone, before hanging up. There was no way Wade was asleep already--he was very open with Peter about having insomnia and never being able to get to sleep before two or three in the morning. It was barely even ten o’ clock.

He waited five minutes to give him a chance to call back, before jumping out his window to swing his way over to Wade’s apartment. The cold air was seeping through his suit and making him shiver, which only added to his anxiety. He felt like he was going to throw up.

He got to the apartment within a few minutes. Swinging was so much faster than walking, thank the Gods. He wasn’t sure if his anxiety was going to last too much longer without actually making him have a panic attack. As he ran up to Wade’s door, his spider-sense buzzed at full strength and Peter threw the door open. He noticed the door was still unlocked, so Wade hadn’t taken his advice on keeping it locked. The first thing his superhuman senses were hit with was the strong smell of blood, making his stomach churn. He followed the smell to the small bathroom and froze. 

Wade was lying unconscious on the floor in a pool of his own crimson blood, his arms, legs, and throat sliced to shreds by the knife loosely sitting in his hand. Peter rushed over, taking everything in. The gashes were deep and rough--definitely all done fast and angrily. He wanted to call the police--call _ someone _\--to help, but he knew it wasn’t needed. Wade couldn’t die. He said so himself. It was just a matter of waiting for him to wake up.

Peter couldn’t stop the sob that broke through his lips as his entire body was shook violently and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He ripped off his mask and threw it out into the hallway, trying to suck in deep breaths, but just getting overwhelmed by the smell of blood. He sat in the still-warm liquid by Wade’s head and carefully pulled his upper body into his lap. He grabbed the knife from his hand and threw that into the hallway as well, wanting it far away from his Wade. He clutched the man in his arms, hating how cold he was from the loss of blood. He cried there, holding Wade for what seemed like half an hour or so, until he noticed the gash on his neck healing. He watched in amazement as his skin fused together again, as if it was never sliced open. He had never seen his healing factor this close before, and he hoped he would never had a reason to see it again. 

Peter could feel that his eyes were still swollen and he was still a little shaky, but he was calmer now. Wade was healing. He would be okay. He took this time to get a good look at Wade Wilson. He was wearing only a pair of boxers, so most of his body was on display. Even under all the blood and scars, he could see how completely ripped Wade was. He had one of the best bodies Peter had ever seen in his life. He knew he was fit, but this was insane. The scars were startling at first, but they didn’t really matter. Wade was incredibly attractive, from head to toe. Peter carefully traced over his facial features with his fingers, letting them finally rest upon his plump lips. He couldn’t understand why Wade was so hard on himself. He was beautiful.

Peter almost cried again, when Wade opened his eyes, gasping. 

“Wade,” Peter breathed. “Thank Gods you’re awake.”

“What? Who are you?” Wade asked him, looking over his features. His blue eyes hovered on Peter’s hazel ones for a moment, before realization flashed across his face. His eyes wandered lower and saw the blood-covered Spider-Man costume. “Spidey.”

“Yeah...My name is Peter. Peter Parker.”

Wade scrambled off of his lap and placed his hands over his eyes, groaning. “You weren’t supposed to see me like this.”

“I don’t mind the scars.” Peter told him. “I’ve seen them before.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Wade sighed. Peter knew what he meant. He didn’t want Peter to see him broken like this. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“I didn’t know you would show up here. I wouldn’t have done it at my house, if I knew you would come looking for me.”

“Wade, why wouldn’t I come looking for you?”

“I don’t know.”

Peter scooted closer to Wade again and wrapped his arms around him. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just...you wouldn’t understand. The voices in my head...they’re _ loud _ . And they’re _ mean _. They tell me to do things. Every time I walk out of the house, they tell me to do bad things. They try to make me kill you every time I see you, but I obviously wouldn’t. They try to destroy everything that matters to me. They tell me to hurt myself. I can usually ignore it, but sometimes I just...I can’t Spidey. I mean Peter, I guess.” Wade explained. “I can’t die, but if I get myself to bleed out very fast all at once, my healing factor gets overwhelmed and I can make myself blackout for a little while. Being unconscious makes the voices stop, so...sometimes I just do it.”

“Wade, why didn’t you call me or something? I-I would have talked to you or came over and sat with you. I would’ve distracted you for awhile.”

“My crazy is not your responsibility, Peter. You’re too _ good _of a person...I know you want to help everyone, but you can’t help me. You can’t fix me.”

“I never said I wanted to fix you. I said I wanted to be here for you. That has nothing to do with me being a good person...it’s because I can’t lose you. Not even for an hour, until you wake back up. Wade, when you didn’t show up, I knew something was wrong. When I got here and saw you like this..._ dead _ ...even though I knew it was only temporary, it was the scariest moment of my life. I have never been that scared for someone _ ever _. I need you to communicate with me.”

“Why aren’t you running? Why are you still here? You’ve seen everything, Peter! This is everything! My crazy and my scars and my suicidal tendencies--how are you not running? You’re beautiful. You are literally the most attractive person I have ever seen in my life--you should not be spending every night with me. You should be out with girls and--”

Peter quickly pressed his lips to Wade’s, cutting off his sentence. When Wade didn’t reciprocate the kiss, Peter pulled back.

“Wade, I love you.”

“Please don’t play with me.” Wade begged, tears forming in his eyes. “Don’t pity me.”

“I’m not. I’ve loved you for a while now, but I wasn’t sure when to bring it up. Trust me.”

“Fuck, I love you, too,” Wade choked out, before crashing his lips against Peter’s. He pulled Peter into his lap and the younger man wrapped his arms around Wade’s neck. Peter opened his mouth, allowing Wade to deepen the kiss. Wade clutched at Peter’s body, gripping him as if he was afraid of him disappearing.

** _I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile_ **

** _I would like to show you what true love can really do_ **

It had been two years since the night Peter and Wade got together, and neither had ever been happier. At some point, Wade just casually moved into the Avengers Compound and even started helping out on a few missions here and there. He was basically an unofficial Avenger, and the entire team learned to love him after a while, much to Wade’s excitement. For the first time in his life, Wade felt as if he had a family, and he was dating the best person he had ever met.

“Good morning.” Peter whispered, running his fingers over Wade’s bare chest soothingly. 

“Hi.” Wade answered, opening his eyes and looked down at Peter, who’s hair was standing up in all directions. “You have the cutest bed-head I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“My hair thanks you for the compliment.” Peter smiled. “You have the sexiest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Oh, Baby Boy, don’t even get me started on this. I will be listing every part of your body as the most perfect I’ve ever seen. I’ve gotta be the luckiest man in the world.”

“You’re the _ second _luckiest...I already took first place.”

Wade stared at Peter, obviously thinking about something.

“I want to ask you something, but I’m afraid you might freak out...like, in a bad way.”

“Try me.” Peter said, sitting up on his elbow to show that he had his attention.

“I love being your boyfriend...really, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Wade started, reaching over and running his fingers through Peter’s messy brown hair. “_ But _, I would love to be your husband even more.”

“Are you asking what I think you’re asking me?” Peter questioned, his heart rate speeding up. 

“I know we’ve only been together for two years, so you can totally say no if it’s too early, but...will you marry me, Peter?”

“Yes!” Peter said excitedly, without a second thought. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”

“Did he just...did he just say yes? Yeah, I think I heard that, too. Are we sure he said yes?” Wade asked his voices, shocked.

“Wade,” Peter said, putting his hand on his boyfriend’s face to bring his attention back. “I want to marry you.”

“I love you so much,” Wade breathed, pulling Peter on top of him and kissing his nose happily.

“I love you, Wade.”

** _Let me love you baby, love you baby_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this! I'm so sorry for how long it ended up being--I really thought this was going to be a semi-quick oneshot. I literally just started writing everything that popped into my head while listening to the song and posted it. Leave Kudos and Comments to let me know what you thought! 
> 
> If you want to support me even more, you could follow [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/marvel-obsessed-chick)


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